Drunk hate
by LovingRandom140
Summary: Follow on from this weeks episode. Very rough.
1. 1

Dylan sat in the pub downing glass after glass of whiskey, he wasn't even feeling a hint of the guilt he thought he might have done for hitting the bottle again. All he cared about was forgetting the events of the day. It was too early for any of his colleagues to come through the door and so was happy and relaxed in the knowledge he could drown his sorrows in peace.

Dylan nodded to the bar man for another drink.

"Sorry mate, you've had enough." The barman told him.

"Isn't that my decision?" Dylan slurred angrily.

"Afraid not, I can't serve you anymore. Finish up and go home." He told him.

Dylan just rolled his eyes and downed the remainder of his whiskey before clumsily standing up off the stool and staggering outside. He didn't remember alcohol having this kind of effect on him so quickly but figured his tolerance will have changed after being sober for so long.

He ran his hand along the wall as he walked to keep himself upright. It wasn't until he came to the side of the pub where he let go and began to stumble unsteady on his feet again. Trying to concentrate and failing miserably Dylan tripped and fell the back of his head bouncing off the floor with a crack and rendering him unconscious.

"We have a shout. Around the corner, hope and anchor." Iain spoke heading into Jan's office.

"Alright just grab a trolley and we can run round with the medi bag." She told him jumping up from her chair.

Arriving at the pub they were pointed in the direction of the ally at the side where Dylan was lying still unconscious.

"Do you know how long he has been here?" Jan asked the barman and Iain started assessing him.

"I told him to leave about 3 hours ago, he left no problem really. Found him when I went on my break just now." He explained.

"Alright." She nodded at him. "Dylan? Dylan can you hear me?"

Dylan just groaned moving his head slightly.

"Keep nice and still for me, we're going to get you collar and boarded." She told him holding his head as Iain brought the equipment.

"Strong smell of alcohol here Jan." Iain told her.

"Yeah, I know." She sighed as they got him on the board then onto the trolley.

"Taking you to the ED now Dylan, we will be a subtle as possible." Iain told him as they wheeled him across the car park.

On arrival to the department Iain waved over Connie who came quickly frowning when she recognised who they had brought it.

"High dependency cubicle is free, get him in there." She told them and glanced around to see who she could get to assist.

"Nurse Hyde, with me please." She called over to the nurses station.

David looked up and rushed over to help as they headed into the HDC.

"Ok so Dylan Keogh, 43, found at the side of the pub. He has a laceration to the back of his head. Collar and boarded for precaution. BP low but stable at 90 systolic, tachycardic at 120 and temperature and 34. Bar man said he must have been there around 3 hours, smells strongly of alcohol. He has responded very slightly to voice but hasn't regained full consciousness whilst we've been with him." Jan reeled off.

"Okay thank you both. We will keep this as confidential as possible yes?" She looked at David who nodded his head.

"We need a line in, bloods taken and then push some warm fluids and get the bear hugger on him. Once he has warmed up a bit we can get him to scan and clear his head and neck." She told him.

David nodded again and set to work.

An hour later and Dylan had returned from his scans and was beginning to regain consciousness.

"Dylan? Dr Keogh? It's Mrs Beauchamp, you're in the ED. Do you remember what happened?" Connie spoke standing over him.

Dylan frowned. "She lost the baby." He muttered.

Connie looked puzzled and looked to David for a clue.

"Its a long story." David told her. "He's had a very difficult few days."

"Ok well let's keep pushing those fluids as fast as we can for now until he wakes up a bit more." She told him. "Shout if you need anything."

David nodded before he turned his attention back to his friend.

"What have you done Dylan. You were doing do well." He sighed.

Dylan opened his eyes slightly and looked at him frowning.

"My head..." he mumbled.

"You had a fall outside the pub." David told him. "You've been drinking too."

"I had to." Dylan told him. "I couldn't... couldn't stop. It was... difficult. I..I didn't know what else to do."

"Okay, okay. Just calm down." David spoke putting his hand on Dylan's shoulder not wanting him to get worked up.

"I feel sick." Dylan told him swallowing hard.

David rushed to the door and caught Louise's eye.

"Louise can I have a hand please. Quickly." He called to her and she rushed over.

"Is that Dylan?" She asked confused.

"Yes, I need a hand to roll him quickly before he aspirates." David told her as he grabbed the suction whilst turning Dylan onto his side with the help of Louise just as Dylan began to vomit.

David helped him out slightly with the suction as Dylan was weak. Once done they rolled him back into his back gently.

"Get me off this board." Dylan muttered.

"Just wait for you're scans. Won't be long now." David told him.

"What happened? Is he drunk?" Louise asked.

"I am an alcoholic. What do you think?" Dylan answered her.

"Right Dr Keogh, you're head and neck CT is clear. We can get you a bit more comfortable now." Connie spoke as she walked into the cubicle and smiled at David who barn to unscramble Dylan.

"Are you feeling any better?" She asked him.

"I'm fine. Just let me go home." He told her.

"I am keeping you in for observation for a few more hours and then we can see about getting you home, but you won't be allowed home on your own. Anyone we can get for you?" She asked.

"No one." He whispered slightly.

"He can stay with me until he is feeling himself again." David offered.

"That alright Dylan?" Connie asked.

Dylan shrugged then nodded figuring it was that or stay in the hospital.

"Just a few hours of observation then. I will sign you off sick for the rest of the week then we will talk." She added.

Dylan just nodded again and closed his eyes.

"I will see to dervla and bring you some things later." Louise told him putting her hand on his arm. "What's going on Dylan?"

He shook his head as he put his face in his hands.

"David?" She asked and the older nurse shrugged.

"Can I tell her?" He asked Dylan who gave a small nod not looking up from his hands.

"Ciara, a woman he got friendly with from his AA meetings. They had a bit of a thing, she was married. Fell pregnant with Dylan's baby, it was ectopic. They obviously lost it." David told her briefly.

"Oh Dylan." Louise sighed and rubbed his arm and she his shoulders shaking and David explained.

"She...she cared. I ruined it..." He spoken between ragged breaths.

"I don't think any of this is your fault." David told him.

"We should go finish up before the end of shift." Louise told him. "Give you a minute to yourself." She could see he was struggling and wouldn't let go when he had an audience, Dylan was very proud in that sense.

David nodded in agreement and the two of them left Dylan to himself.

Dylan could do nothing but cry, for Ciara, for the baby, for Sam, for Glen, for Cal, for his OCD, for his alcoholism. He had been bottling it up, he never cried, ever. The more he let go the more he got worked up until the machines started beeping getting the attention of the two nurses and Connie who rushed back in to see Dylan in hysterics grabbing onto the side rails of the trolley.

"Alright, resps high and heart rate 140." David spoke looking at the monitor.

"Dylan you need to calm down, you're hyperventilating." Connie told him. "Get 5 lorazepam."

David done as he was told as Louise took hold of Dylan's hands off the side rails and looked straight at him.

"Ok Dylan, deep breaths." She told him. "Slowly in and out. You're fine, you know you're fine. We will fix this."

Dylan slowed his breathing and shook his head as he felt David flush something through his cannula.

"Alright." She squeezed his hands. "Try to relax now. We won't be leaving you in your own again."

"He needs an appointment made with Ben for as soon as possible. Can one of you sort that? Then take him home. Plenty of fluids." Connie told them to which they nodded.

"We will sort this alright? This is just a bump in the road." David the doctor as he calmed back down to normal.

"I really hope so." Dylan sighed closing his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

David took Dylan back to his house and demanded he sat in the lounge with a hot strong coffee and the TV on whilst he sorted out the spare room.

"The room is made up ready for you, I put some spare bottoms and a tshirt on the bed incase you want to change before Louise gets here with your things." David told him kindly.

Dylan just nodded his head and sipped at his coffee staring at the TV but not really watching it.

"Do you feel any better?" David asked.

"What do you think." Dylan replied bluntly. "I want to go home."

"You know you can't just yet. You could have concussion." David told him.

"I might go and have a drink is what you mean." He looked at him. "I probably would. Once the withdrawals start at least."

"You need help." David sighed. "You are gonna kill youself at this rate Dylan."

"Who cares ey?" Dylan stood up. "Tell me. Who cares?"

Dylan headed out of the room and up the stairs to the bathroom locking the door behind him.

David rubbed his head stressed as he did not think he could do right for doing wrong. A knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts.

He opened the door and welcomes Louise inside from the cold.

"How is he?" Louise asked just as they heard retching and coughing from upstairs.

"Not good." David sighed.

"Connie gave me a sedative prescription for him, just to help him relax. I collected it before I came." She handed him the paper bag. "And his overnight bag." She added placing the bag on the floor.

"Need to persuade him to go and get some rest." David shrugged. "He isn't very cooperative."

"I will go check on him. You get him a glass of water." She told him and the sound of retching echoed again. "Maybe a bucket too."

David nodded his head and headed off to the kitchen and Louise headed up stairs.

She knocked on the bathroom door gently.

"Dylan. It's Louise, can you open the door?" She asked.

No response.

"Come on Dylan, I'm just trying to help." She continued.

Dylan unlocked the door and opened it as he rested against the door frame. He was pale and covered in a sheet of sweat yet shivering.

"Come on let's get you lying down." She told him and guided him through to the spare room. Her hand on his back.

"I feel awful." He told her as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Get changed and lay down. David is making you a drink. There's some meds Connie sent for you to help you relax too." She explained.

"I don't want to be sedated." He muttered.

"Its not going to sedate you, its going to relax you. You know all this Dylan." She told him. "Don't play the ignorant patient."

"Can I change in private please?" He asked picking up the tshirt.

"Of course." She nodded and left the room.

"He is just getting changed. Should take the meds from you no problem. Just don't talk to him much. He's very much on the edge." Louise told David.

David nodded and headed upstairs.

"Is it ok to come in?" David asked as he stood outside the door.

"Yes." He heard Dylan's response.

"Drink, meds and a bucket just in case." He said placing them down.

"Thanks." Dylan said to Davids surprise.

"Don't mention it. Shout if you need anything." He told him before leaving.

 **Very short chapter. I'd love to do a long Dylan centred story but struggling for ideas. If anyone has an idea they'd like me to have a go with please Review or PM :)**


	3. Chapter 3

Dylan had been held 'hostage', as he would say, and David's house for 2 days now and was starting to get increasingly frustrated.

"You need to eat Dylan, you've hardly had a thing since you came out of hospital." David pleaded as he placed a plate of toast on the table in front of him.

"I'm not hungry." Dylan told him again. "I am going to head back to my boat today. No need for me to be here."

"You can't be on your own Dylan." David told him to which he shrugged.

"Fine." David gave in. "We will go and stay at yours."

"We? No, there's no we." Dylan shook his head.

"You can not be on your own. What don't you understand about that? Dylan I am your friend and I have taken time off work to help you manage the first stages of your recovery." David told him.

"I just want to be on my own. I am better on my own." Dylan looked at him.

"I will give you space. But can't leave you to your own devices. I don't trust what you will do. Do you even trust yourself?" David asked.

"No. But I don't really care right now." He muttered.

"Exactly why you should not be alone." David told him. "That's the end of it. I will pack a bag."

Once David left to pack a bag Dylan eyed up David's car keys. Without a second thought he grabbed them and was out the door within seconds jumping into David's car and sped off.

David hearing the car engine rushed back down the stairs to find no trace of Dylan other than the toast that remained untouched and the front door left open.

…

"You lost him? How can you lose a fully grown adult?" Connie scolded the nurse.

"He took my keys and left. I found it near his boat but he was nowhere to be seen." David explained. "It's been a week now an I'm worried about him. His phone is just ringing out."

"If his not here tomorrow morning, then tell him don't bother coming back at all." She told him and stormed off.

"Well I can't tell him anything if I can't find him." He mumbled to himself before getting his phone out and dialing again.

"Come on Dylan. Pick up the phone, pick up." Dylan spoke with his phone to his ear as he approached the nurses station. "I can't keep saying you've got the flu. She wants you here first thing tomorrow or don't bother coming back. All right, look, will you please call me when you get this message? And just let us know you're alright."

He looked to Robyn as he hung up the phone. "This is crazy. He won't answer the phone, he won't answer his door. I know he's in there. Do you think I should tell her. Do you think he would listen to here? He doesn't listen to anyone."

"Well there is someone…" Robyn spoke and got her phone out giving David Zsa Zsa's number.

 **Very short filler chapter. Another longer chapter will be right up, I'm going to use this weeks episode for the next chapter so will be very similar then I will follow on from there.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: So this is essentially last nights episode incorporated into my story. I have some ideas for upcoming chapters but any suggestions are also welcome.**

Dylan sat swaying slightly on the arm of the chair and listened to his phone messages through on his phone.

"Yeah, well, I'm not all right, am I, buddy? I'm not all right at all." He muttered before hanging up and putting his phone on the floor before it rings again. In frustration ke kicks it away.

"I can't do this." He shakes his head. "We've got to go."

He jumps up and starts packing his suitcase. A knock on the door forces him to pause his packing. They knock again. Giving in Dylan throws down his packing and heads for the door.

"All right David fine. All right." He speaks annoyed.

As he opens the door the fresh air hits him sending his stomach whirling. Also the surprise of seeing his Father there rather than David as he was expecting makes his cover his mouth.

"You going to invite me in?" He asks just before Dylan has to rush past him and lurches forwards vomiting over the side of his boat.

Once done Dylan stands up straighter and wipes his mouth before heading back inside.

"Can I?" Brian asks.

"Do what you like." Dylan shrugs.

"I must admit. I thought I'd hit rock bottom then you turn up. Wow." He speaks at his Dad. "Under every deep another deep opens."

"Seems you were pretty deep down before I got here." Brian comments. "So what's going on. You started drinking again?"

"Yeah, yeah. How observant of you." Dylan rolls his eyes. "What do you want?"

"Step 9. Make amends where possible." Brain tells him.

"Seriously?" Dylan rubs the back of his neck letting his eyes close.

"I must say, I'm practically lost for words. Making amends, that is a joke." Dylan spoke pouring himself a drink.

"It's not a joke to me son." Brian looks at him.

"Oh Son now is it?" Dylan chuckles slightly. "You must be going now."

"I'm not going anywhere till you hear me out." Brian sits down beside him.

"Ok. Ok,.well then I will." Dylan mutters and heads off the boat.

He headed straight to his car and struggled with the keys as he tried to get in.

"What you doing?" Brian came up behind him. "you cant drive in this state. Come on where you going?"

"I'm going where you can't follow me." Dylan turns around and looks at Brian leaning slightly on his car. "I'm going to the pub."

"You've had a skin full already." Brian shook his head.

"Yeah. Well I'd like a bit more if that's alright." Dylan frowned.

"Ok well I will drive you." He told him.

"No. You can't drive me you're a recovering alcoholic." Dylan spoke pointing at him.

"You think I can't watch you drink without having a drink myself?" He laughed slightly.

"Exactly." Dylan nodded.

"I will prove it, let me drive you." Brian shrugged.

"Alright. Alright you're on." Dylan responded. "Keys are in there."

Arriving at the pub Brain followed Dylan inside.

"I said you could drive me. Not come in with me." Dylan told him.

"I've told you I'm not going anywhere until you hear me out." Brain repeated.

"I asked for a double." Dylan said disappointed when his Dad placed a glass with a single measure on the table infront of him.

"I didn't think you really wanted to drink yourself to death." Brain told him sitting down opposite.

"Well I learnt to drink from the master." Dylan gestured to his father.

His phones rings again and he opens it glancing at the screen.

"Oh why are you calling? I'm not going to pick up." He sighs.

"Who is it?" Brian asks.

"Zsa Zsa. Don't think you know her." Dylan closed his phone again and placed it back on the table.

"So what happened? Something must have happened to make you like this." Brain asked.

"Very perceptive of you. I should be asking you why the change." Dylan shot back.

"Woke up in a bed sit. Face to the floor. No idea what day it was or where I was." Brain explained. "I needed another drink, thought I would die without one. Then realized I don't want to die."

Dylan downed the remainder of his drink and stood up.

"Need the little boys room." He stumbled off.

On return he headed to the bar and pushed money towards the barman.

"For my whiskey." He said.

"You've had enough." Brian said joining him. "Give him a pint of water."

"No. Give me a whiskey." Dylan shook his head. "Let me have my whiskey, and I will tell you what happened. Can't get fairer than that."

Brain hesitated then nodded in agreement taking Dylan's glass and heading back to the table.

Dylan sat facing his father, not really wanting to have this conversation.

"Ok Father. If you can believer this. I too was going to be a dad. I was going to have a abay with a woman. That I loved. Only I found out too late. Then she lost the baby that I didn't know was mine. So that's the gist of it you get it."

"I'm sorry." Brain sighed.

"You're sorry? Why are you sorry? I would have been a terrible dad. With you as an example." Dylan frowned.

"You would have been a great Dad. I am sorry. Believe me. For everything. Everything I did to your mum. To you." He continued.

"You're really sorry? You want to make it up to me?" Dylan confirmed.

"Yeah." Brian agreed.

"Tell me when you're drunk. That's when your truth really comes out." He spoke seriously and slide what was left of his drink towards him.

"You've can't as me that." Brain shook his head.

"Yes, I can. Go on just a finger." Dylan shrugged.

"It doesn't work like that." Brain rubbed his hand over his face.

"Yes, it does. Just a digit worth." He pushed.

"You're being ridiculous. It's not going to happen." Brian stood firm/

"You can start again tomorrow." Dylan continued.

"Come on Dylan." Brian sighed.

"'Come on Dylan' I hate this sober sanctimonious tone you've suddenly started adopting." Dylan mocked teeth gritted in anger.

"you know the hell I've been through to get to where I am. You want me to throw all that away. My sobriety my family." He started.

"You're the one that wanted to say sorry that you want to make it up to me yet the first opportunity I give you. No." Dylan ranted as Brain stood up grabbing his coat. "That is runaway. Just like you always did. As soon as things start to get a little heavy you look out for number one."

"What do you want from me?" Brain snapped.

"I want you to be a father. Do what a father would do. Make a sacrifice for me have a drink with me." Dylan told him.

Without a seconds thought Brian grabbed the drink from the table and downed it with ease.

Not even an hour later and several drinks gone Brian called it.

"Right that's it. No more." He told his son.

"You can get back on it tomorrow." Dylan told him. "Keep it in the day. That's what they say."

"Yeah. Keep it in the day." Brain slurred slightly as he agreed. "Oh Son. All those years wasted when I could have been a father." He pated Dylan leg.

"Yeah." Dylan spoke stoney.

"You know that day, when I woke up no idea where I was ready to become sober? You know what I kept seeing?" He told him.

"No." Dylan shook his head.

Brian took out his phone. "This. And that's when I realized. I wanna be a dad. I wanna go on living for her. And Hazel of course."

Dylan threw his head backwards exacerbated and stood up grabbing his phone and headed through to the toilets.

He stood staring at himself in the mirror debating with himself whether what he was about to do was right. He didn't care. He dialed Hazel's number.

"It's Dylan. Brian is in the pub. He's drunk. I wouldn't allow him home tonight." Dylan spoke and then hung up.

Dylan waited a few minutes before heading back out into the pub and caught his Dad on the phone, he could tell by his tone it was Hazel and he was lying to her. One thing that had never changed was the tone he used when lying.

He followed him outside and listened to the end of the conversation.

"Anyone I know?" He asked.

"Hazel. She's thrown me out. For good this time." Brian complains.

"Oh right." Dylan says unsympathetic.

"I can't believe I've done this. 103 days. Hang on…How did she?" He looked at Dylan who raised his eyebrows.

"You creep! That's why you forced me to drink isn't it?" He continued angily.

"Now you know, just a little bit. What it feels like to have everything, taken away." Dylan felt slightly smug.

"That makes you feel good does it?" Brian spoke.

"Do you know. You…you are the reason everything bad ever happened?"

"Yeah it's all my fault." Brain muttered.

"Yes it is. You are the reason I will never be a father. Yet you sit in there cooing over a child that you say you love. Its not me though is it." His voice cracked slightly.

"What do you want Dylan? Blood?" Brain looked at him raising his voice.

"A little more than that." He laughed ironically.

"Come on then. You hate me. Hit me." Brian pushed.

"I'm not going to hit you." Dylan shook his head.

"Oh come on Dyly." He shoved him.

"Don't push me." Dylan almost growled.

"Be a man!" Brain shouted.

Dylan swung and hit his dad to the side of his face sending him flying sideways hitting his head off the bench and landing on the ground unconscious.

It took Brian several minute to come round and he got up with assistance from Dylan to sit on the bench. Dylan almost automatically examined him.

"Well. I've gotta hand it to you." Brian laughed.

"Bit of a bump there but not a cut. How many fingers am I holding up?" Dylan held up two fingers.

"Two." Brian told him.

"Well you'll live. Mores the pitty." Dylan stood and walked away.

"Oi!" Brian stumbled towards Dylan.

"No. I've had enough I really have. No." Dylan turned to face him.

Brian reached his and put it on Dylan's shoulder pulling him in slightly.

"Ok, all right. Ok." Dylan allowed his Dad to hug him slightly as he frowned not wanting the contact. Then he felt Brian's weight fall into him as he collapsed.

"Whoa! Er…Ok." Dylan spoke as he held him up as best he could before guiding him back inside the pub.

"What's going on?" Brain asked confused as he realized he was in the pub.

"Just sit down. Sit down there and I'll get you some water." Dylan told him. "Dad."

"Oh Dad is it?" Brian continued to stumble away from Dylan.

"Dad, you collapsed. Come on, come on, sit down." He reached out to him.

"Get off me!" Brain snapped before bending over and vomiting then collapsing onto the floor.

Dylan crouched at his side and quickly dialed 999.

"He's more and more confused." Dylan spoke down the phone. "Can you squeeze my hand Brian?"

"Get off me." Brian pulled his hand away.

"No, his pupils are, they're slow. Sluggish yeah." Dylan continued.

"Dylan. What's going on?" Brain asked confused.

"It's ok Brian. It's ok." He leaned on the bar slightly. "He's bradycardic. How long are you going to be? Resps? I dunno,less than 10. It's a server head injury."

Brian slumped to once side vomiting again.

"Stay with me Brian." Dylan reached out to hold his arm. "Can you open your eyes Brain? He is unresponsive now. How long are you going to be? He will be dead by then." He began to panic.

He then heard a familiar American accent and looked up to see Zsa Zsa stood with David looking at him.

"Zsa Zsa?" He spoke surprised.

"I take it this is your Dad." She asked him.

"How are you here?" He asked.

"He called me." She nodded towards David as the crouched by Brian.

"What happened?" She asked.

"Um…er.." Dylan faltered. "He fell. He was knocked out. He's been in and out of consciousness he was fine."

"I'm gonna need more than that DD." Zsa Zsa looked at him.

"Yeah, um. There's a boggy swelling on the left temple the left pupil is sluggish there's right sided weakness." Dylan reeled off.

"How long for the ambulance?" She asked getting no response she spoke more sternly. "Dylan! How long!?"

Dylan put the phone back to his ear. "Are you still there? You mean another ten minutes? His pulse is dropping. Less than 40."

"Dylan. Dylan. GCS?" David asked.

"It's as low as it gets." He started to panic. "We've got to do something, time is brain."

"Just not here." David confirmed.

"We're running out of time. What do you suggest?" Dylan looked at him.

"You can't be serious." David shook his head.

Dylan looked to Zsa Zsa.

"DD, I can't." She told him apologetically.

"No, no , no." He leant over to check his Dad again. "His left pupil's blown."

"I can see that." She sighed. "The pressure needs to be released."

"He's going to die." Dylan sat back on his knees looking down.

"Guy's. A decision." David spoke up.

"Please?" Dylan looked Zsa Zsa in the eye. "He's my Dad." His voice cracked slightly before he looked down again rubbing his hand on his knees nervously.

Zsa Zsa took off her jacket. "Can I get a first aid kit please. And some Vodka. And someone get me a drill." She looked to Dylan. "I'm going to have to open his skull.

Dylan nodded gently pressing his lips together.

Zsa Zsa then cut carefully int Brian's scalp before picking up the drill.

"DD, hold his head." She spoke.

Dylan didn't respond.

"Dylan?" David prompted.

"Doctor Keogh I need help!" She shouted at him.

"Ok. Ok." He came to her aid and held his Dad's head still.

"One millimeter off either way and you're an orphan." She told him.

"Yeah. Yeah. I know." He nodded.

She drilled into Brian's skull stopping when she breaks through the bone. Seeing the clot she cursed.

"OK, DD." She spoke.

"You want me to?" He asked.

"Well my hands are full. We can't move it we can't drain the pressure. You know that." She told him.

"Yeah, yeah. Ok. How?" He asked.

"Find something!" She told him.

He picked up some tweezers from the first aid kit.

"These? They're much too big." He said fumbling with them.

"Snap them in half." She said.

He did as he as told and prepared to remove the clot.

He got closer to his Dad and close his eyes shaking his head stepping back.

"I can't do this, I can't do this!" He refused.

"You have to. It's going to be fine." Zsa Zsa told him gently.

"Come on Dylan." David encouraged him.

"Ok, ok." He nodded and leant forwards carefully removing the clot.

As he removed it Zsa Zsa praised him. "Good boy."

As if on que Iain and his partner came through the door of the pub. Together they got Brain loaded onto the stretcher and into the ambulance and quickly to the hospital. Ince arrived Dylan stood back and allowed Iain to hand over to Connie who was annoyed to find that Zsa Zsa had performed a makeshift burr hole.

He smirked slightly at he as Connie demanded Zsa Zsa to her office before following the ladies inside.

He sat in the chair resting his elbows on his knees listening to Connie rant.

"I am genuinely lost for words for what you've done." She started. "Honestly, I don't know where to begin. It's irresponsible, unconsidered, unethical."

"It was either that or bring him back in a body bag. See we're doctors and when we see somebody dying, we want to save them." Zsa Zsa argued.

"No. Not having that." Connie folded her arms.

"What about the magic of the blood clot. Kid's still go it." Zsa Zsa gestured to Dylan.

"Doctor Keogh's talents are not in question here, are they? And lets be honest, he wasn't running the show." She told her.

"Then again it's easy to forget the magic when you spend all day in an office." Zsa Zsa suggested causing Dylan to wince slightly.

"Or indeed when one's egomaniacal narcissism totally obscures their ethical need to…"

"Stop, stop, stop." Dylan interrupted. "She did it for me."

"You know what Dylan." She looked at him. "A lot of people have been putting themselves out for you. There's no questioning that you're an excellent physician but enough is enough. You know we're here for you. But if you won't let us help you I suggest you pack your bags. It's up to you."

Dylan looked at her biting his lip, regretting not coming to her in the first place. He nodded his head and got to his feet following Zsa Zsa out in silence. She soon started talking about the trip to America she had planned for him. He was hardly listening until they got outside the ED where she turned to look at him. He gave her half and smile and tilted his head.

"What?" She asked.

"If I leave with you, it's just like drinking again, isn't it? It's just running away." He spoke apologetically. "I don't have the words to tell you how grateful I am for everything that you have done for me. I nearly killed my dad. And you saved him. You can't save me."

Zsa Zsa smiled slightly then spotted David in the background. "Oh here comes the timebomb masquerading as a wallflower. Hi!"

"Ok, Zsa Zsa, . I know you have your heart set on taking him back to the state but im just not gonna let that happen." David started. Stopping as Zsa Zsa handed Dylan's passport back to him.

"Is that what I think it is?" He asked taking and checking it. "How did you? Very naughty." He said sliding it into his pocket.

"I know what you've got in mind." Dylan said as he looked at his old mentor stood still in front of him. "Oh come on then, quickly quickly."

He wrapped his arms around her and she held him tightly.

"That's actually quite nice." He laughed a little. "I don't know why they're different with you."

They pulled away and he looked at her as she looked back eyes full of sympathy. "Until next time."


	5. Chapter 5

Back in the hospital Dylan had taken up residency at his father's bedside in the ICU. His head rested against his hand as he fell the uncomfortable visitors chair. He was awoken by a gently hand shaking his shoulder slightly.

"Dylan?"

He heard his name being called gently and opened his eyes to see David staring back at him.

"I dropped Zsa Zsa off at the airport, she said she will give you a call in the next few days and see how you and Brian are." He explained.

"Yeah. Thanks." Dylan said and sat up in the chair.

"How is he?" David asked looking at Brian who just looked like a much older version of Dylan.

"He's in a coma. Will be for a few days until the swelling goes down most likely." Dylan told him. "Then they will find out if there is any permanent damage."

David nodded. "Why don't you go and have a shower? Something to eat? I text Louise and she's going to go and feed and walk Dervla before her night shift, so you don't need to rush home."

"Yeah. I um… I think I will stay in the on-call room tonight. In case of any updates." Dylan told him. "I have a bag of clean clothes in my locker I can use."

"Good, come on. I will walk down with you." David told him.

Dylan nodded and got shakily to his feet walking slowly out of the department and to the lift.

The pair stayed in a comfortable silence as David accompanied his friend to the ED staffroom to get his things from his locker and then over to the shower rooms.

"Um David… I think I can manage from here." Dylan told the nurse.

"Oh yes. Yes of course. Just be careful. Let me know of any updates on your Dad… sorry, Brian." David corrected himself.

Dylan gave a singular nod as he headed off for his shower.

The doctor stood, eyes closed allowing the warm water to run over his body, the events of the day playing over in his head. He didn't know how to feel anymore. Angry, disappointed, sad, scared even. Today he almost lost his father, from his own doing. Something he had wished countless times but when push came to shove, and in that moment, he'd have done anything to save him.

On his own and in the privacy of the cubicle he allowed tears to run down his face. Tears he had kept bottled up tight most of the day. He sobbed slightly before he rubbed his hand over his face and turned off the running water and grabbed his towel.

Once ready Dylan changed into some scrubs and headed into the on-call room for a well needed rest. He lay on the bed and within minutes was in a restless slumber.

Dylan awoke not long after in a cold sweat. Shakily he checked his watch. 3:30am. He felt rough, like he needed a drink. He knew it wasn't an option however knew just as well that getting back to sleep in this state was also impossible.

He climbed out of bed and slipped his shoes on before heading down into the department.

"Doctor Keogh." Charlie noticed the doctor wondering through the department looking lost. "You shouldn't be here."

"I'm not working. Staying in the on-call room." Dylan told him and stopped resting his hand against the wall.

"Connie told me what happened." Charlie admitted.

"I'm sure she did." Dylan nodded.

"Are you all right?" Charlie frowned.

"I don't feel right Charlie…" He shook his head.

"Come on through to my office and sit down." Charlie guided the doctor across the corridor and into the seat in his office.

He couldn't mistake the pallor appearance, the cold sweat and the shakes Dylan was suffering from.

"It's probably withdrawal Dylan." The older nurse told him.

"Yep, thanks Charlie." Dylan rolled his eyes.

"Just hold out here. I will go and get you some pabronex, yeah?" He offered.

"Please." Dylan nodded rocking forwards slightly breathing deep.

Charlie left the doctor and went off to draw up the injection for Dylan before returning with it in a kidney dish.

"Right here we go." Charlie spoke as he sat beside Dylan on the sofa and pushed his scrub sleeve up and injected into his arm.

"Thanks Charlie." Dylan massaged his upper arm gently.

"It should help you recover." Charlie told him disposing of the syringe. "I'd like to get a set of obs done and get a liter of saline in to you."

"There is really no need Charlie." Dylan shook his head.

"Well I think there is. It's only Me, Ethan and Louise on minors tonight and it's quiet so we can get you set in a cubicle." Charlie told him. "Not taking no for an answer. Come on."

Dylan sighed and got slowly to his feet following the older nurse to cubicles. He looked at him disapprovingly as he climbed onto the trolley and lay back thankful for the surface to support his weight.

Without too much conversation Charlie completed his set of observations on Dylan and set up his cannula and saline.

"You're quite tachycardic and your BP is on the low side. Nothing we wouldn't expect." Charlie told him.

Dylan didn't respond he just stared at a blank space on the curtain surrounding his cubicle.

"Get some rest, I will check you again later." He told him before leaving quietly.

Once Charlie left Dylan allowed his eyes to close and drifted off again into a light sleep allowing the saline to run through nicely.

Dylan wasn't sure how long he had been dozing for but he didn't expect it to have been too long when a younger blonde headed doctor crept into his cubicle.

"Hello Dr Hardy…" Dylan greeted quietly and rubbed his eyes.

"I'm sorry I'm disturbing you. I need to give you a look over and get some bloods done if that's ok?" He asked.

"What on earth for?" Dylan frowned.

"You know the deal, when you've been admitted with alcohol induced illness we need to do the whole hog." Ethan shrugged. "It won't take me long and then at least when you have the results you will know where you stand."

"Know if I've done any permanent damage you mean?" Dylan huffed and held out his other arm for Ethan.

Ethan just sighed, he knew Dylan well enough not to take anything he said to heart, he just carried on as if Dylan was any other of his patients.

Dylan watched Ethan closely.

"I've done this before. Don't worry." Ethan chuckled slightly feeling Dylan's eyes on him as he slid the needle into Dylan's vein and started to fill several bottles with blood.

"No I know. You're a very competent doctor." Dylan told him.

Ethan smiled slightly not expecting the compliment for the older consultant. "Thank you."

"Despite what you've been through." Dylan added.

Ethan shifted his gaze back down to the job in hand.

"You had two Mum's die. Didn't you?" He continued.

"Um… yeah. My adoptive Mum of cancer. Birth Mum from Huntington's." Ethan nodded.

"Dad?" Dylan questioned.

"Birth Dad. No idea. Could still be out there. He walked out on Mum when she was pregnant apparently. Adoptive Dad, he got drunk a lot. Used to hit out at Mum and Caleb." Ethan told him.

"Not you?" He asked.

Ethan shook his head and removed the needle from Dylan's arm giving him some gauze to hold onto it.

"They stood up to him a lot, I used to just do as I was told. Spend so long in the library that by the time I came home he'd passed out." He explained.

Dylan nodded his head.

"I was a coward I guess. Still am really." Ethan told him.

"I don't think you are a coward Ethan." Dylan told him.

Ethan looked at him and smiled slightly, partly because he had addressed his as Ethan and not Dr Hardy and also because that was two compliments from him in less that 5 minutes.

"Don't think that people are gossiping about you, they're not. Not as such anyway. We're worried that's all." Ethan tried. "But I do kind of know what you're going through right now."

Dylan looked at him questioningly.

"Caleb, when we had little Matilda and then found she wasn't his. It broke us, it was like mourning even though she was completely fine. I know it's not the same, but it's similar. If you see what I mean." Ethan explained.

Nodding his head Dylan did appreciate Ethan of all people trying to talk to him.

"It does get better, as cheesy as it sounds. Every tragedy I've had since moving to Holby has been helped by leaning on the team here. It's kind of unique in that way. Show me another work place where it's this close knit." Ethan smiled.

"I know. I just, need to do things in my own time. I pressed self-destruct but it isn't an option anymore." Dylan told him.

"This is an illness Dylan, it's not your fault. But like any illness you need to take the right steps to recover. And you will, because you're Doctor Keogh and we have new F1's starting soon and I'm not babysitting them all." Ethan smirked.

"Oh wonderful. Something to look forward to." Dylan smiled genuinely.

 **Thanks for all reviews so far. I am working on a chapter including Ciara that should be up in the next week or so. Any other ideas are welcome. I could obviously also do with a BETA reader if anyone is interested let me know.**


	6. Chapter 6

It had been a week since Dylan had his relapse and today was his first day back at work, he was willing for the shift to go easily and without any hiccups given he knew half the staff would be spying on him making sure he was still a competent doctor.

"Good morning Dylan." David spoke walking into the staffroom seeing Dylan also the putting his stethoscope around his neck.

"Morning." Dylan replied half-heartedly.

"Glad to be back?" David asked to which Dylan nodded his head closing his locker. "How is your father?"

"Brian?" Dylan looked at him. "He will live. I've cut ties with him. Best for us both I think."

David nodded in agreement. "Maybe so."

Dylan headed to the door and out to the department taking a deep breath as he went. He would be lying if he said he wanted to be here. He wanted to be at home, with a drink in hand. Even hugging a toilet with a steaming hangover seemed like a welcome break at the moment from everything that was going around in his head.

On his way through to reception he froze when he saw her. The reason for the hell he has been going through, he quickly turned and headed back through the department.

"Doctor Keogh. Your cubicles today remember, not resus." Connie called after him as she spotted him walking away from cubicles.

"Yes." Dylan stopped and turned to face her.

"Everything ok?" She asked and he nodded quickly. "If you need a chat, you know where to find me."

Dylan nodded again and headed back through towards cubicles. Thankfully by then Ciara had been taken through by David, no doubt to avoid Dylan.

Dylan busied himself with whatever walked, hobbled or was wheeled through the ED doors for the first half of his shift. His usual stone faced approached to life remained in situ.

"Dr Keogh." David approached him sheepishly.

Dylan looked at him and immediately shook his head. "If you are going to ask what I think you are then the answer is no. Why are you even asking me? Really David."

David shook his head. "I am not asking you to see her. I just, I've found something and I'm not sure what to do about it."

Dylan sighed and thought for a minute before he gave him a nod.

"She was drinking this…" David handed him a bottle of apple juice.

"Apple juice. She is allowed fluids." Dylan frowned.

"Smell it." David told him. "Joel gave it to her."

Dylan unscrewed the lid before sniffing the content, the smell made him withdraw quickly and screwed the lid back on.

"Well that brings it back." He said giving it back to David swallowing hard.

"Sorry, I didn't think. Sorry." David told him.

"It's fine. Obviously not just apple juice." Dylan sighed. "What is she doing with him?" He asked rhetorically.

"What can I do?" David asked.

"I will talk to her." He told him.

"Is that a good idea?" David questioned.

"You just asked an unsuspecting, unreliable recovering alcoholic to smell a laced soft drink which is most likely 50 percent whiskey." He told him. "Not sure you're the one with the best ideas."

David decided best not to argue and let Dylan walk off.

…

Dylan stood by the curtain to Ciara's cubicle, he took a deep breath before opening it slowly and stepping inside.

"Dylan…" She spoke.

"Where's Joel?" He asked.

"Café." She told him.

"Getting you another drink probably." Dylan spoke. "Not unlike this one."

Dylan placed the juice bottle on the table.

"I am allowed to drink juice Dylan, I am not limited to water." She told him.

"Maybe so. But I can smell the whiskey in this, no doubt you could too, never mind taste it." He shrugged.

She looked down at her hands not wanting to make eye contact.

"So he is clearly helping with your recovery then. Feeds you alcohol to keep you sweet does he?" He asked.

"It's not like that." She whispered.

"So what is it like then? You tell me." He asked.

Ciara remained silent.

"I let you in, I support you. We took care of each other we were doing great. Then you got back with Joel, miscarry our baby and then still throw it all in my face. What for? What are you gaining from this?" He asked.

"Dylan, I don't want to talk about this." She told him.

"Well tough." He told her. "I do. We could have had everything, we still could Ciara. He is no good for you. He doesn't really care. If he did this wouldn't keep happening."

She looked at him.

"I care about you. I love you. And even after everything we have been through. Together we can make this work." He told her his eyes glazing over.

It was then that she pulled him close and kissed him. The sound of the cubicle curtain being pulled open behind him made Dylan pull away. He hadn't even turned around when he felt a hand on his shoulder and he was spun around and greeted with a fist in his face followed by a knee to the stomach winding him. The next he knew he was on the floor outside the cubicle coughing and spluttering with blood poring down his face.

"Joel!" Ciara shouted.

"Security!" David shouted as he knelt down to Dylan.

Dylan looked at Ciara who immediately avoided eye contact and grabbed hold of Joel's hand.

"I'm sorry, he wouldn't leave me alone." She told him.

Dylan shook his head and got to his feet with help from David as security charged in and grabbed Joel dragging him from the department.

"It was your baby wasn't it!? That she lost! It was your baby!" Joel shouted back at Dylan.

"Get off me." Dylan shrugged David away and stormed off.

"What on earth happened here!?" Connie asked as she walked towards to commotion. "Do I even need to ask?" She added as she stopped Dylan walking away and Ciara in the bed.

"It wasn't Doctor Keogh's fault." David told her.

"You would say that wouldn't you?" She raised her eyebrow. "I want to talk to you both. I want to know everything."

She then walked away. David sighed torn as what to do for best, never the less he followed his clinical lead to her office.


	7. Chapter 7

Dylan made a B line straight for the ED doors. He heard his name being called but didn't stop. He couldn't face anyone, not like this.

"Dylan!" He heard a voice again and this time felt a hand on his arm stopping him in his tracks.

"Dylan? Are you okay?" It was Robyn.

"I'm going home." He mumbled and tried to pull away.

"You can't walk the streets like that. You're bleeding." She told him.

He raised his hand to his face forgetting the fact blood was dripping from his nose and lip.

"Come on inside, let me clean you up." Robyn smiled gently.

"I can't go in there Robyn, I don't want to be there." He admitted tears in his eyes.

"We will go somewhere quiet. Charlie's office is free. You can't go home like that." She suggested.

He nodded and allowed the young nurse to lead him back in through the department and to Charlie's office. He sat on one of the seats in silence and accepted a piece of gauze from Robyn and held it to his nose.

"I saw what happened." She told him. "I heard what Joel shouted too."

"I suppose the whole department heard him." He spoke quietly.

Robyn dabbed his lip and gave him fresh gauze to pinch his nose as she had a feel around his cheek bones.

"Was it true?" She asked. "Did you lose a baby with that woman?"

Dylan closed his eyes tight, holding back tears.

"Yeah. I did yeah." He admitted.

"That explains why you started drinking again?" She added to which he nodded his head.

"I take it my nose is not broken?" He asked straightening himself up.

"No, just a little bruised." She told him. "Mrs Beauchamp took David to her office earlier, I expect she has grilled him about everything now."

Dylan shrugged. "I wouldn't expect any less. Can I go now?"

Robyn nodded and Dylan was straight to his feet and scarpered from the department.

…

"Has anyone seen Doctor Keogh?" Connie asked heading to the nurses station an uncomfortable looking David following behind her.

"He left, went home." Robyn told her.

"He didn't look very well to be honest." Louise added.

Connie sighed and turned to David. "Go and get changed, check on him at home. Make sure he is ok."

David nodded. "Yes Mrs Beauchamp."

David did as he was told, he was relieved really that he had been able to tell someone everything he had been keeping secret, he also knew that although his clinical lead was very firm and strict she was also fair and understanding with her staff and their personal issues. She did ensure everyone was looked after in the department.

He rushed to Dylan's house boat and banged on the door. He could see the light was on so knew he was inside.

Impatient as well as concerned for his friend he tried the door which had been left unlocked. He could instantly smell whiskey and was instantly filled with dread.

"Dylan?" He called and went down the stairs into the boat.

He headed inside and spotted Dylan sat his head resting in his hands at the table. A bottle of whiskey in front of him and a smashed glass on the floor.

"I haven't had any." Dylan mumbled from his hands.

"Good." David said relieved. "That's good."

"I was so close though." He looked at him, eyes pink and nose slightly bruised.

"But you didn't. It's fine. I will get rid of it for you." David smiled slightly. "How are you?"

Dylan shook his head. "I don't know."

"Mrs Beauchamp made me tell her everything I'm afraid." David admitted. "But she said to tell you not to worry too much, but she does want to see you as soon as possible."

"I'm not going back to the department." David told him. "Everyone knows my business."

"Maybe so, but no one is judging you Dylan." David sat down facing him. "We all just want you to be ok and recover."

"I won't ever be ok David. I never have been, ok." Dylan said downhearted.

David sighed then looked puzzled as he heard a knock on the door.

"You expecting someone?" He asked.

"I wasn't even expecting you." Dylan replied.

"Doctor Keogh?" They heard the voice.

"It can't be." David looked at him.

"That's Mrs Beauchamp isn't it?" Dylan spoke. "Get rid of her David. Please."

David panicked. "What do I tell her?"

Dylan shrugged. "Anything."

David shook his head and headed to the door.

"Mrs Beauchamp. Weren't expecting you." David smiled politely.

"No, I know. But I can't afford to be a doctor down so I've come to talk to him myself." She told him and went to go inside.

"He… doesn't want to see anyone." He told her quickly earning himself a disapproving glance before she headed inside anyway.

"It smells like a brewer's in here." She commented as she went inside. "Did you drink anything?"

Dylan shook his head looking at the smashed glass on the floor.

"I will clean this up." David said and got to work.

"If you're still sober you are still able to work tomorrow, yes?" She spoke taking a seat across from Dylan his small dining table between them.

"I will be in to hand in my notice." He told her.

"You will still need to work your notice period of four weeks." She shrugged.

Dylan sighed and looked at her.

"Running away, is not going to help you. Sitting in your own company day in day out will only make matters worse." She told him. "You have a supportive team of friends in that department. You will not find that anywhere else."

He sighed heavily staring at his hands.

She looked him up and down. "How are the withdrawals? Are you taking anything?"

"They only give me diazepam." He told her.

"Not Disulfiram?" She frowned.

He shook his head. "Don't want it."

"But you accept Diazepam. Why?" She queried.

"I don't need to have this conversation with you." He stood up.

"You do, and you will." She told him.

"Why!?" He snapped.

"Because you are a member of my team who is vulnerable and it is my duty to make sure you are alright." She got to her feet. "Now sit down!"

"Vulnerable? Oh great." He rolled his eyes.

"You have OCD, you witnessed a friend and colleague murdered, your father has been in the department seriously ill on multiple occasions near death last time, your ex-wife died at work, your girlfriend has turned her back on you and miscarried your child and that's without whatever happened in France, which I do not need to know the details of." She spoke at him quickly. "So yes. I would say you were vulnerable, however much you may dislike it."

Dylan looked at her defeated, he always tried to avoid thinking of everything like that. He covered his mouth with his hand and sat back down.

David placed two cups of coffee down on the table in front of them both.

"I'm going to head home for a while, I can come back later if you want?" He offered.

"It's fine, thank you David." Dylan gave him a half smile.

"Thank you, David. I will see you in the morning." Connie also thanked him before he left.

"Come on then." She started. "You came close to drinking again tonight, you've just done the hard part, the first week."

"It's my go to." He admitted. "I just want to forget."

"Do you still go to see Ben up in psych?" She asked.

He shook his head. "No. He was a waste of time."

"He is actually really good. If you give him a chance." She spoke sipping her coffee.

"He told me I had depression and anxiety, wanted me to go on meds." He confessed.

She raised an eyebrow. "You think he is mistaken?"

Dylan nodded.

"I think he might have been onto something." She told him honestly. "I think you could benefit from more help."

"I'm not suicidal." He shook his head.

"That doesn't mean you are not depressed Dylan." She told him. "Your behavior is abnormal, even for you. You're more emotional, unpredictable, you've lost weight."

"I'm a recovering alcoholic." He rolled his eyes. "What do you expect?"

"Right ok. Pack a bag. You're going to stay at the hospital tonight. Then I am getting you a room in a rehab facility." She told him.

"No way." He refused.

"Either that, or start cooperating Dylan!" She shouted. "You are acting like a spoiled child!"

He took a deep breath and stood up.

"I'd like you to leave now please." He told her calmly.

She picked up her bag and headed for the door.

"I will see you in the morning for your shift." She looked at him. "Yes?"

He sniffed and nodded looking at her. "Yes."

 **Really not sure about this chapter. Feel like Connie especially is OOC. To the Guest reviewer, Ciara will be back :)**


	8. Chapter 8

Dylan groaned as his alarm went off. His head pounded and his stomach was churning. He turned off his alarm as he lay staring at the ceiling debating whether he was going into work or not. His phone began to buzz beside him and he frowned not even checking the called ID as he answered.

"Keogh." He grumbled.

"I will be at yours in 10 minutes to take you to work. Be ready." It was Connie.

"Seriously." He spoke shocked.

"Seriously. Look sharp Dr Keogh." She spoke and hung up.

Dylan slammed his phone down but got up, washed and dressed anyway. He picked up his brief case and phone before heading outside where Connie was waiting as promised.

"Good morning." Connie looked at him as he climbed into the car beside her.

He looked at her disapprovingly. "Is it?"

She looked him up and down. "If I didn't know better. I'd say you were hungover."

He looked at her deadpan.

"Last night?" She sighed annoyed.

"You left the whiskey bottle." He shrugged.

"So it's my fault is it!?" She snapped. "Do you even regret it?"

"I always regret it!" Dylan snapped back.

She ignored him and stated the engine driving off towards to hospital.

Once there she parked in her allocated space and looked at Dylan who was looking worse for wear.

"I didn't have much last night. Honestly, I did stop and put myself to bed. Usually I'd have slept where I landed." He told her.

She nodded. "I'm going to breathalyze you before I allow you to work. I am going to review your medications too."

He nodded in agreement and got out of her car walking inside ahead of her.

"Dylan."

He heard his name as he walked through the department and frowned recognizing the voice. He looked around until he spotted Ciara sat up in a cubicle. Shaking his head, he walked away.

"Dr Keogh, you are needed in CDU." David told him following him into the staffroom.

"I can't just yet David." He told him opening his locker.

"It's just we are really busy and Dr Masood is struggling." David explained.

"I said I can't David!" He slammed his locker shut.

David jumped slightly at his outburst. "Everything ok? Look Ciara is in but you don't need to see her, she's in minors."

"I had a drink last night David. When you both left." He told him. "Connie is breathalyzing me before I'm allowed to touch a patient."

"I knew I should have came back round." David scolded himself.

"No. No, this is no one's fault but my own." Dylan told him and patted his arm before heading to Connie's office.

She beckoned him in. "Have a seat."

"Let's get this done then." He sighed rubbing his head.

She handed him the breathalyzer. "Are you feeling ok to be working?"

"Of course." He mumbled before blowing into the machine before it beeped.

She watched him before taking the machine and reading it. "Well you're clear."

"Great. To work then." He said standing up.

"Not so fast." She warned him. "David works alongside you all day today, any issue to see me straight away. If I get even an inkling that you're unsafe to be here you will be gone. Understand?"

Dylan sighed and just gave a nod before leaving. Connie beckoned David over.

"You stick with him today, keep an eye." She told him.

The nurse smiled. "No problem."

David caught up to Dylan in CDU in no time.

"If Ciara asks to see me or even comes anywhere near this side of the department can you please divert her away and tell me." Dylan asked David as they stood by the desk.

"Of course." David nodded. "Anything I can do to help."

"Just let me work and keep her away. That's all." He told him. "And give me space. Babysit me from a distance maybe?" He rolled his eyes and got on with his work.

Inevitably is wasn't long until Ciara came looking for Dylan. She slowly opened the door to CDU and wondered through looking around.

David spotted her and marched over. "No. You are going nowhere near him."

"You his bodyguard?" She laughed slightly.

"I am his friend. You have already broken him more than once. Not again." He told her. "Now leave."

"He loves me." She told him. "I love him. Who are you to stop that."

David pulled her to one side. "He has told me not the let you near him. You caused enough trouble for him so please just leave."

Ciara shook her head. "He wouldn't do that."

"He did. So please. Just go." David begged.

Ciara spotted Dylan coming out of a cubicle and pushed passed David going straight for him.

"Dylan!" She shouted.

"Ciara." He sighed.

"He said you didn't want to see me. Why would he say that?" She asked.

Dylan walked past her. "I'm not doing this here."

She frowned and followed him. "Dylan please."

Dylan looked towards David who didn't know what to do and just shrugged his shoulders.

"Fine." He snapped and slammed his notes on the desk. "Cubicle 3 needs his wound dressed. I'm taking my break."

He then left Ciara following close behind him into the staffroom.

"Why would you tell him to keep me away like that?" She asked him hurt.

Dylan stood hands on hips. "Why do you think?"

She shrugged in response.

"You can't just come in and out of my life like this Ciara." He told her.

"I love you Dylan, you know I do. But Joel is safe, he helps me." She explained.

"He gives you drink, keeps you vulnerable so that you don't leave him." He told her. "He knows everything now, he knows about the pregnancy."

She nodded. "He is making my life hell Dylan. I need you to save me."

She stood close to him, her hand on his chest.

"Please Dylan. Help me?" She looked to him tears in her eyes. "I'm scared."

Dylan gave in and wrapped his arms around her.

"I will help you." He told her. "But we can't keep doing this."

"It will be different this time." She cuddled into him. "I am going to Joel for good, I can stay with you?"

"Maybe it would be a good idea to get you admitted properly." He suggested. "You will be safe and be able to recover. Then you can come stay with me."

"You think I will keep drinking otherwise?" She asked.

"I think we would be bad for each other at the moment. I drank last night Ciara. I need to be able to trust myself to be able to help you and not drag you off the wagon." He explained gently.

"Okay. I will do it. As long as when I come out, you are waiting." She looked up at him.

"I will be." He promised. "Go have a seat in reception, I will get you booked in."

She nodded and gave him a kiss before leaving.

Dylan headed straight back to CDU.

"Ok David, how are we doing in here?" He asked the nurse.

"Everything is fine, Rash is on top of everything. Are you ok?" He asked.

"I wouldn't go that far. But Ciara has agreed to be admitted to the alcohol ward. Can you sort that for me please?" He asked.

"Of course, yes." He agreed.

Dylan gave him a small smile and picked up a patient file.

"Dr Keogh. Patient in cubicle two is refusing any input. Robyn is with him now but achieving nothing." Rash told him rubbing his head. "He told me he will only be seen b a senior member of staff."

"Right ok. Can you take this." Dylan asked handing him the new patient file. "Come and get me if you need me."

"Thank you." Rash smiled and they headed in different directions.

Dylan could hear from outside the cubicle the abuse the patient was shouting at Robyn as she tried to do her job.

"Right ok, Mr Dawson is it?" Dylan asked stepping inside the cubicle.

"And who are you?" The patient snapped back.

"I am doctor Keogh, a consultant in this department. I see you have a nasty head wound, with no explanation as to how it came about." He stated.

"You don't need to know." The patient spoke bluntly.

"Well it would be useful information." Dylan raised his eyebrows. "However, it is essential you let Robyn here clean and stitch it."

"I don't want a nurse. I want a doctor." He refused.

"If you want a neat job and no scar, you want young Robyn here." Dylan told him.

"I said. I want a doctor!" He shouted. "It is up to me to say what I want!"

"Actually, it's not." Dylan told him and went over to have a closer look. "It seems superficial enough, a couple of dissolvable stitches will close that nicely."

The patient took the opportunity to grab Dylan by his shirt and pulled him close.

"I am telling you what I want. Now either I get what I want, or there will be an official complaint against you. I pay my taxes I am entitled to care." He spoke quietly.

"We are not refusing you care, we are giving you the care you need. So, I suggest to comply and you can get out of here." Dylan responded calmly earning himself a strong shove from the patient.

Not expecting the impact Dylan fell backwards onto the floor of the cubicle next door hitting the back of his head on the bed.

"David, get onto security and get Mr Dawson out of the department." Robyn called to the nurse who was now on his way over hearing the commotion, he quickly diverted back to the desk and grabbed the phone.

"Dylan? Can you hear me?" Robyn spoke kneeling down at Dylan's side.

Dylan groaned and opened his eyes squinting slightly.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." He said quickly trying to sit up.

"Slowly does it, just have a minute." Robyn told him preventing him standing up as security dragged his previous patients from the department.

"What happened?" Connie asked rushing in her high heels making her approach known.

"He was knocked out for a couple of seconds." Robyn told her. "Mr Dawson shoved him, he went down quite hard."

"Thank you, Robyn." She looked at Dylan.

"I'm absolutely fine." Dylan argued.

"He's shaking. Heart rate is pretty high." Connie spoke.

Dylan hadn't even noticed her hand on his wrist taking his pulse.

"Should we get him up on this bed?" Robyn suggested.

"Yeah, can you stand Dylan?" She asked. "David, can we borrow you?"

David soon appeared and with Robyn helped Dylan to his feet. Once upright Dylan wavered letting his eyes close. The quickly got him onto the bed.

"Dylan? Dr Keogh? Are you with us?" Connie asked shining a light in his eyes.

Dylan frowned and nodded his head.

"Let's get a full set of obs on him." Connie ordered. "We can take it from here Robyn thank you."

David took over completing a set of obs on his friend and colleague.

"Is this from the head injury or is it the withdrawal?" David asked the clinical lead.

"It's hard to tell at the moment. There is hardly a bump or a mark on his head." She told him.

"BP is on the low side, heart rate is high, resps up." David reeled off.

"Dylan?" She spoke gently.

He opened his eyes and looked at her.

"We need to work out what's causing this. What do you think? Does it feel like DTs or do you think its when you hit your head?" She asked him.

"DTs." He answered quickly. "I'm sorry. Ciara."

"She's been taken upstairs Dylan and admitted. I told her you will visit when you can." David told him.

"Let's just focus on you." Connie told him.

Dylan then groaned as his body went ridged and shook. David and Connie quickly got him onto his side and an oxygen mask on his face.

"Can you get 10 of lorazepam ready just incase he doesn't come out of this by himself." She asked David who calmly and quickly did as he was asked.

"It's just a seizure Dylan. You're going to be absolutely fine." She attempted to provide some comfort to him as he calmed down.

David sighed repeating his obs.

"He isn't going to need any lorazepam. Get him admitted, we will keep him for observation for a few hours. Maybe book a head CT to be on the safe side." Connie ordered.

"Will do." David nodded. "I will come and get you if anything changes."

 **Happy Saturday. No Dylan this week but I do love a bit of Iain centred storylines so I don't mind so much. As for this story, I'm not sure whether to now skip forward to Ciara coming out of rehab and do a bit of Dylan and Ciara stuff? or carry on slowly. Either way I haven't decided on a story so suggestions are welcome. It will be credited always :) x**


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